Monday, May 24, 2010

Fear? So what?

This was a line in a book I just finished. I don't remember the context. Only the line. It's a great one. And it's just how I feel about fear today.

Before Al-Anon, I had a hard time identifying my feelings. Today, I can identify them as well as what's behind them. Usually, if I drill down far enough, I'll hit a well of fear. And then I can let it go.

"That's just fear," I can tell myself.

In this program, I've heard fear referred to as


I like this, because I've found that many of my fears are irrational, and most of the things I feared never happened.

In my fourth step inventory, I identified my fears. Through meditation, I got to know them well. Like the Wizard of Oz, I pulled back the curtain to find a homely little man.

"That's what I've been afraid of all this time?" I wanted to laugh.

Fear lost its power over me.

Now when fear wells up, I can face it down.

"I know you," I tell it. "You don't scare me."

Mostly. And on my best days.

Of course, there are days when I am more fearful than others. And as an Al-Anon, I do have fears that are not irrational. Like the fact that my daughter could die from this disease.

But I'm powerless over that. I can turn it over to God. I can pray for acceptance. I can live my life.

Free of fear.


  1. I also like "Fears are not Facts." Someone read at a meeting once from the ODAT that fears are just feelings. Its *just* a feeling. That put it into a perspective for me. Also, I love that I can use that with all of my feelings. They all are just feelings and are only as powerful as I allow them to be.

    Thank you for your very kind and insightful comment on my blog the other day. I really really appreciate it.

  2. Fear is one of the 5 innate emotions we are born with! Our ancestors wouldnt have survived without it. And so do we! Fear helps us to survive. Surely when it becomes dysfunctional it has outlived its usefulness. I am working hard to live without this dysfunctional outlived pattern, yet rely on fear to save me during an emergency /need.

  3. I love this and so needed it today as you well know! Thanks!

  4. This is the second time I've heard that 'False Expectations Appearing Real' in only four days...and the first time I EVER heard it was on Friday!

    I guess I needed to hear it....

  5. Kathy, very well written and powerful. Thank you for sharing. Blessings.

  6. Identifying feelings - that alone is a big deal.
    Accepting them - even harder.

    I like the F.E.A.R. thing, too. I think I've seen it before, but it was what I needed to hear again, as well.

  7. Great Post...I was dealing with some fear today, too. God and I are working it through.


  8. fear has been my biggest challenge. Someone once told me fear is the opposite of faith and you can't walk in the two at the same time. Have a great day Kathy. You always inspire.

  9. That must be a great feeling!! I try to block fear out! Not sure if that is good or not!

  10. wow, that's a good one for FEAR. In AA I've heard you have two choices: