Sunday, March 21, 2010

Saying Goodbye

One thing I was not prepared for when I started this blog just a few short months ago, was how quickly people would come into my life, and how soon I would have to say goodbye.

Among the first things I saw when hubby and I got back from the land were goodbye messages from two of my favorite bloggers, Lou at Subdural Flow and Madison at Fight of Your Life. These are the just latest in what feels like a string of losses. Scott at Attitude of Gratitude called it quits not long ago. These were all longtime bloggers but, being new, I had little time with them. A couple of others have taken hiatuses that, so far, have not become permanent but sound as thought they might.

The fact that I have never met any of these people does not make me grieve their loss any less. They may have been "virtual" friends, but they are real to me as the desk I write on. They told the truth about their lives and addiction, supported me, shared resources. They touched me beyond measure.

Surely Al-Anon must offer wisdom. I searched the indexes in my daily readers in vain for wisdom on "loss" or "goodbye." The closest I came was "Letting go." This is from Courage to Change, p.202.

"... We can become too busy avoiding change to enjoy the gifts we fear to lose. By clutching at what we most want to keep, we lose it all the more rapidly.

Change is inevitable. We can depend on that. When we become willing to accept change, we make room for a loving God. By letting go of our efforts to influence the future, we become freer to experience the present, to feel all of our feelings while they are happening, and to more fully enjoy those precious moments of joy with which we are blessed."

So, to Lou, to Madison, and to all of you who are still out there blogging, I want you to know you have filled my life with precious moments of joy. Thank you for blessing my life.

And for those who are moving on, whether by choice or necessity, please know that you have touched me. And I will miss you. Godspeed.


  1. I am right there with you Kathy. I can only wish the best for the ones who do move on. And the time that they were here sharing their lives with us, was truly a blessings. Amen!

  2. saying good bye to a fellow blogger is no fun.I have seen a lot of bloggers leave blogging sine I started mine a couple of years ago.All we can do is wish them well.

  3. Hi Kathy,
    I am so with you on this one. When I saw that Madison was leaving, I was so sad. She was one of the first ones to comment on my blog. I enjoyed reading her blog. It is very sad. I was thinking about writing a goodbye blog to her, too. We have a community of fellowship here that is amazing.

    We share our hearts and joys and sorrows.

    Working on letting go of Madison. I know that she had to go. It helps to know others feel the same way.

    Thanks for posting about this. :)


  4. one door closes and another one opens.... for them.... and for us ((HUGS))

  5. I miss Lou and Madison too. A lot.

  6. Kathy, Your not alone in feeling the loss. I will miss them both very much. My virtual friends have become some of the best friends I have ever had, so I know what you mean when you say that. I hope no one else leaves soon!

  7. I am missing them too. I will continue to hope that they pop in once in awhile. They are in my thoughts and heart though. They brightened my world with their words and sharing and no one can take that away. They will be missed.


  8. I believe that the writing one to the other is so intimate that it is inevitable to develop such fond close relationships. IT TAKES US INTO SUCH DEEP PLACES of ourselves and of others...I honestly am still grieving over the loss of one of my most favorite blogs and its been a while since he's been gone. I love that I have the archives though...I appreciate that very much.

    I did not know Lou, but I knew Madison and she will be GREATLY missed.

  9. that is beautiful, kathy. i think we deny ourselves and those we care for something very meaningful and healing when we avoid goodbyes. closure and marking transitions as a chance to tell people what we appreciate about them and wish them well. it keeps us whole in a way, instead of feeling like we have a bunch of loose ends tangled up inside. i'm grateful you're here and real and sharing your thoughts~

  10. Acceptance of other people's choices and allowing them the grace to make their decisions is what we are all striving for, and some day we will be in their same seats. I think you bring up a good point in that we come to care for each other as we read each others blogs and yet we don't become attached as in needing or controlling. We simply care. And care deeply. But unconditionally. You teach me things in every one of your posts. And I am so grateful you read my blog and see into my writing that I so want to get out there. Hugs.

  11. gosh i loved this...wonderful post...

    "Change is inevitable. We can depend on that. When we become willing to accept change, we make room for a loving God. By letting go of our efforts to influence the future, we become freer to experience the present, to feel all of our feelings while they are happening, and to more fully enjoy those precious moments of joy with which we are blessed."

  12. Thanks, Kathy, I really enjoy your writing. In my two years of blogging, a lot of people have come and gone.

    I really appreciate what Technobabe said--we make changes because we are moving on, growing. In my case, Al-Anon has given me a hunger for learning more about my faith, for reading the Bible and really understanding it. Who knew that would happen!! There is just not enough time in the day, so I had to make a choice.

    I'll be around however, so don't you quit now;)

  13. I loved this post and I would agree, there have been many bloggers who have taken breaks or just disappeared and just like in meetings it's hard when people leave or move on, but like you I miss them, honor them and acknowledge that yes, all life is change, but I thank you for the beautiful piece here on acknowledging and sending love....
    xo g

  14. Change.

    I love this post.

    I've been getting so much from your posts.. as I did from Lou's .. just in different ways..

    People do come and go.... but Lou will stay in my thoughts. She really touched me with her posts..

    Thank you for expressing your feelings. It helped me to read this.

  15. I miss them too but don't you go. I look forward to your posts!

  16. Anytime we feel the loss of someting, I believe it's important to stop and see what we have. Everything comes into our lives at the perfect time, for the perfect amount of time... and no goodbye is forever. One day all things will be together and accessable and the reasons for it all will become clear.

    Just my view - take what you like and leave the rest.

  17. Hi Kathy, I'm glad you're still here. And I share your delight in finding the blogging community. You have helped me get clearer about my Al-Anon, and use it more often. Thanks.